Languishing

2022.01.04 Tuesday

I’m in a bit of a limbo period right now.  December, ‘21 started great, with a plan to do 5K every day for 31 days.  I was looking at it as a challenge:  could I actually do it?  

The short answer is “no”.  Not because I gave up, or because I didn’t have the discipline, but because I’m a fat 52 year old who forgets that he’s not a thin 30 year old.  About 4 days in, I started to get a pain in my foot.  I kept at it for a few days, even getting creative when I was in NYC to walk to a Planet Fitness since my hotel didn’t have a treadmill.  But on the 7th, the pain was so bad that I could hardly walk.  It was devastating and disappointing.  So I stopped.  I had to.

I took a week or so off and really didn't do much exercise at all.  I then started getting on the stationary bike at home, just to try to keep my aerobic capacity from slipping too much.  I was feeling ready to get back on the road.

Then on Christmas Eve, I ended up in the ER at midnight with shoulder pain so bad that I could hardly stand it.  Turns out I have rotator cuff tendinitis.  At least it’s not a tear, so it should be OK with a cortisone shot (got that yesterday) and physical therapy (that starts tomorrow).

I feel like I’m languishing.  The end of the year at work is always a weird time:  end of quarter, end of year, most customers aren’t in the office.  Omicron is blazing through the country, so Zoom meetings and in-person meetings have been canceled or rescheduled.

I’ve got so many adventures planned for this year:

• Run a 10K

• Run another half marathon and beat my time from last year

• Run a full marathon in October

• Finally get my pilot’s license

But it seems like everything is just “wait for it” right now.  And that’s tough.

I’ve come to realize that goals and “destinations” are great, but the true joy is in the journey.  But right now, I feel like I’m on a journey, but I’m stranded on the side of the road with a flat tire and no spare.

That will change. I'll get out of this, and I just need to focus on what I'm doing now and how that will get me to the next stage of the journey.

"At the end of the day, there is nothing but the journey. Destination is pure illusion."

~Rich Roll